Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
