You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
