You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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