This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
