I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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