I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
