We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
