Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
That's when you crack a 10am beer
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
