have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
