dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
