Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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