I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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