Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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