Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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