NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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