I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
