I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
