the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
