He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
