I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
