I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
