I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize