pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
