I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
