Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize