i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize