I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
