A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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