yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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