capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
