Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
