would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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