I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
