He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
