i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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