You're so nebulous sometimes
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
