so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
My nipple is on Facebook.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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