Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
what day is it and did you see me today?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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