that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Drunk is not a location!
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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