The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
