Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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