Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
The best revenge is premature balding
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
