ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
