Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
