Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
