Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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