why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
