Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
