Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Princesses don't give blow jobs
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
