i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
