No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
