I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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