There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
