It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
