when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Ketchup is God's man juice
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
