I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Randomize
