i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
