I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
is wine microwaveable?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
