I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
