I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
There r osticjed everywhere
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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